There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
