I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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