Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize