it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
