omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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