So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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