i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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