"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
