How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
