Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
