So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Is it because I queefed?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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