garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
