Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize