I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
