Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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