dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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