is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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