Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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