I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
