i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
