Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
