I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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