dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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