I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
