would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
