At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
