I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
