What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
