all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
