He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
