I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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