ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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