That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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