i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?