I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
