He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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