I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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