Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
