ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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