fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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