He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
