I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
