Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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