My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I want to fling myself into the sun
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
