ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He did a backflip because drugs
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