she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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