I'm eating all of the evidence.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
