Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
