I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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