Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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