just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
