Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
