I never want to see another naked old woman again.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
