do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
