i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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