he thought i was a dude.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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