I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
