you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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