Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
