my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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