The best revenge is premature balding
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
