Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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