The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
